By the early 30's deaths by explosive chaw had skyrocketed. With public outrage mounting a special committee was formed to find evidence, if any, as to the root cause of the problem. This was known as The Committee of Explosive Chaw Research and Universal Understanding or The CECRUU. The evidence came from an unlikely source. In late 1932 a gorilla, claiming he had captured a possible chaw explosion on film, walked into the offices of the CECRUU with a somewhat decomposed film canister under his arm. After issuing a short statement it was revealed that the gorilla, while working as a waiter at a saloon in the South West, had perhaps inadvertently supplied the ignition for the tragic accident which killed one horse and left a piano-playing dog severely injured. This is what was seen that day ...
While it had been already common knowledge that bootleg liquors were known to cause animals to spontaneously combust, and that the hullucinations which preceded often revolved around pacifism in some way, the two problems were considered seperate and therefore the film was considered of no use in the committee's investigation. It was not until six months later that close examination of the individual frames revealed a fascinating detail missed on the first viewing
On the bottom ridge of teeth could be very faintly seen a chaw stain. It was at that time that the pieces fell into place: that chaw was being ignited across the country by bootleg liquors! The mystery had been solved and immediately a recall was implemented for 'Explodo', 'Golden Carnage' and 'Ghandi' brand chewing tobaccos. By fall 1933 the recall was complete and the nation could sleep easy knowing all they had to fear from chewing tobacco was horrible mouth cancer.
"So long, Folks!"